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 Capitan Fuckerus Rageis

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Feliw

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MensajeTema: Capitan Fuckerus Rageis   Miér Feb 15, 2012 11:35 am

Capitán del capitulo de los Angry Marines, división de los sangrantes puños rompe ****, en el sector Arkhanian, fue promovido a capitán cuando en medio de una misión de reconocimiento un daemon prince hizo deepstrike sobre el y esto provoco que su hombrera sufriera un desperfecto quedando volteada, el principe de slaanesh cometio el error de burlarse, las leyendad cuentan que la cantidad de FFFFF y UUUUUU seguidas por CCCCCC y KKKKK fueron de tal envergadura, que los necrons dormidos en ese planeta despertaron, Fuckerus escalo por la pierna del principe, pulverizandole LA **** RODILLA CON UN ***** CON SU PROTATA FIST!!, el ******** GIGANTESCO, callo arrodillado, mientras Fuckerus brinco a la otra pierna, realizando el mismo proceso, el principe quedo en 4 en el suelo, entonces Fuckerus rapidamente aplico el verdadero castigo anti demonio, nada comparado a lo que hacen los ***** GRISES DE ***** ESOS, el puño entro por el ***** ***** DE ****** CHAOTICA DEL PRINCIPE DE ****** ABRIENDO Y ROMPIENDO, LA SANGRE DE ****** SE DERRAMO POR TODOS LADOS mientras el victorioso Capitán se regocijaba cuando el floriado principe regresaba al warp.

El maestro de capitulo de los angry marines apreciaron la desenfrenada cantidad de ira destada contra el ano del principe, que fuckerus fue asendido al rango de Capitan de la division ahora conocida como SANGRANTES PUÑOS ROMPE *****.

Esta division esta dedicada a la erradicacion de todo lo FURRY en el sector, por furry se entiende todo lo que sea de slaanesh, todo lo *** entiendase eldar y dark eldar y todo lo WEEABO entiendase por el imperio tau.

El arma sagrada de esta división son los PROSTATA FIST, que no son mas que power fist bendecidos por el mismo Fuckerus, para ser utilizado en el ano de sus víctimas.



*editado por la librería negra*

[left]


Última edición por Feliw el Miér Feb 15, 2012 2:48 pm, editado 1 vez
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MensajeTema: Re: Capitan Fuckerus Rageis   Miér Feb 15, 2012 12:15 pm

...
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MensajeTema: Re: Capitan Fuckerus Rageis   Miér Feb 15, 2012 12:45 pm

si fren, asi son los angry marines, yo no los cree
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MensajeTema: Re: Capitan Fuckerus Rageis   Miér Feb 15, 2012 1:07 pm

estoy pensando ke ese no es felipe tantos errores ortograficos como yo
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MensajeTema: Re: Capitan Fuckerus Rageis   Jue Feb 16, 2012 1:20 pm

Shocked

Voy a tener que hacer un planetita con el símbolo de los Angry Marines en el mapa del Sector.


Alguien está interesado en hacer un Army de Pretty Marines para complementar a los AM?



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MensajeTema: Re: Capitan Fuckerus Rageis   Jue Feb 16, 2012 1:24 pm

Mis Scouts Marines son "Pretty" jejejeje...además ahora que estan siendo guiados por un Marqués FaShioNistA Flamboyante...creo que definitivamente mi army le caería ese adjetivo como anillo al dedo!!
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MensajeTema: Re: Capitan Fuckerus Rageis   Vie Feb 17, 2012 10:21 am

ok empezare a copiar historias de los heroes de los angry marines, no escritas por mi, pero son un flow igual, esta me parecio especialmente divertida
-----------------------------------
The Life of an Asshole

From the records of Governor Tamel of Pathos Secundus.
File #34476A: Captain Asshole
♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦
A boy was born in the year 895.M38, on Pathos Secundus. Little is recorded of his parentage. His father was a Guardsman, known only to be missing and presumed dead. His mother died in childbirth. The pregnancy had no complications, and so an autopsy was conducted. Wounds throughout the mother's uterus and all along the birth canal indicated extreme trauma. Video of the birth confirmed the medical examiner's suspicions: he had come out cuntpunching (sic).
The child spent his youth in and out of various orphanages and foster homes. Several of his caretakers attempted to name him, but whenever anyone asked him his name, he responded only by punching them in the throat. He was regarded as mad and dangerous at the very least; many believed he harbored some mutation or even the mark of Chaos. At the age of ten, however, he finally found a home. An Angry Marine Quartermaster had made planetfall to procure supplies, and the young boy happened to be in the area. The Marine shouted to him, "HEY, ASSHOLE, BRING ME THAT FUCKING HANDTRUCK IN THE CORNER!"
The youth approached the hardened battle-brother and kicked him squarely in the groinplate, breaking two of his toes but making hardly a sound or shedding a tear. The Angry Marines had found a new recruit.
At the time Asshole was inducted, the Chapter Master of the Angry Marines had decreed that new recruits should become standard Codex scouts. The issue was put to a vote, and the chapter at large declared this decision to be "COMPLETELY FUCKING FAGGOTROCIOUS," however the decree stood for a time on the basis that the Chapter Master did it "JUST TO PISS YOU OFF, YOU WORTHLESS TWATS!"
This did not well accommodate young Asshole. The one thing they could never teach him to do was aim, and he spent far longer than normal languishing in the 10th Company. Finally, in 176.M39, during the Scouring of Erhlinger Prime, he proved himself. After emptying an entire magazine into an Ork horde with no effect, Asshole abandoned his cover, howled madly into the sky, and broke his sniper rifle neatly in half across his knee. He then charged the band, tearing limbs from any greenskin that stood in his way, until he was standing face-to-face with the Boss Mek. Asshole took the two halves of his ruined rifle and spitted the Ork from both ends of his digestive track-- right through his flash kustom 'ardpantz, no less. The remaining xenos turned tail and ran. For his heroism, Asshole was immediately inducted to the 5th Company and promoted to the rank of Sergeant. Nevertheless, the Chapter Master shortly thereafter judged that the newbies were 'pissed off enough', and reinstated the Angry Gangs.
Asshole rose quickly through the ranks, finally becoming Brother-Captain of the Battle Barge Killfuck Soulshitter in 722.M39. During his career, he developed a special hatred of Eldar, and would often be heard to claim that "THEY MAY AS WELL BE GODDAMN PRETTY MARINES FOR ALL THEIR FAIRYASSED PANTSHITTERY!!" In 756.M39, the Killfuck Soulshitter was called to push back an incursion on the Coluphid Sector by Eldar. The campaign was a terrifying success, and in its last moments, Captain Asshole confronted the Farseer Turiel and her daughter Sorith, one of the Seer Council, personally. Breaking Sorith and casting her blithely aside in one swift blow, the Captain approached the Farseer, shaking with rage. Before she could react, he slammed her to the ground, removed his groinplate, and raped the Eldar psyker with a brutality she no doubt ever imagined in her 424 years. As he finished, he rose, readjusted his armor, and looked the horrified Sorith in her eyes, saying "I FUCKED YOUR MOM!" He turned and left, letting the two witches steal into the Webway. A Marine in Asshole's retinue, puzzled, asked "WHY THE FUCK DID YOU LET THOSE DYKES GET AWAY, YOU RETARDED COCKSICKLE?" In an astonishing display of restraint, Asshole replied simply "THOSE SPACE WHORES AREN'T THE ONLY ONES WHO CAN PLAN AHEAD, YOU DICKWEED!"
In 989.M39, Captain Asshole received a pizza with mushrooms instead of pineapple, and suffered an aneurysm while pummeling those responsible. Thus, his Battle-Brothers cybernetically mounted him into one of the Chapter's Dreadnoughts-- or, as they prefer to call them within the Angry Marines, a Belligerent Engine.
Thirty years later, the Chapter met the same Eldar again on the field of battle. The carnage played out much the same as before. All that remained were Farseer Turiel, and Sorith -- and the Belligerent Engine in which Captain Asshole was fused. A terrible din was heard. Suddenly, Captain Asshole's turgid member had punched right through the armor plating of the Dreadnought, with the Angry Marine himself in tow, and lodged itself between the buttocks of the Farseer with the force of 10 supernovae. He turned to Sorith and spoke his last words to her before slaughtering them both.
"EVEN IN DEATH, I STILL FUCK YOUR MOM."
Captain Asshole, victorious, then breathed his last on the field of battle.
+++++
Thought for the Day: Hatred is the purest expression of love for The Emperor.
+++++
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MensajeTema: Re: Capitan Fuckerus Rageis   Vie Feb 17, 2012 10:30 am

Inquisitor Badasious
Inquisitor Badasious has been known to do:

He can put a Space Marine to shame. (and at one point beat one to death with his boot, this actually happened.)
There used to be female space marines. Badasious fucked them to extinction. (HERESY!) (BADASSERY!)
Leman Russ once got into a fight with an Imperator-class Titan and punched it in the face, shattering it into a million pieces.
Badasious once got into a fight with Leman Russ and punched him in the face, shattering HIM into a million pieces. (HERESY!)
Inquisitor Badasious can impregnate human females just by glaring from across the street. Eldar women, too.
Badasious is so badass, that he can satisfy a Sister of Rage.
Badasious once had a sidekick. His name was God-Emperor of Mankind.(EXTRA HERESY!)
Badasious once tricked a "planet full of assholes" into getting themselves Exterminatus'd. (Actually happened)
Kharn wants to be Badasious when he grows up.
Badasious once looted Ghazghkull's main space hulk, then he peed on his rug.
Badasious was once cloned while visiting Krieg in an effort to replicate his badassness. His three clone sons now battle over who received his dominant genes.
Inquisitor Badasious requires no Geller field to travel the Warp. He just sits in a glass dome at the top of the ship and stares down the daemons until they piss themselves and slink away.
Inquisitor Badasious once punched a daemon so hard, it created the Eye of Terror. (Named after him of course)
Eldar Banshees hone their minds and bodies preparing for Badasious.
Slaanesh was once straight, but when he saw Badasious, he went bi.
Inquisitor Badasious once ate a smurf village. When he crapped them out, they were eight feet tall and clad in power armor. They are known now as Ultramarines.
Badasious once got into an arm-wrestling competition with Abaddon. Abaddon had his arms before that.
Badasious is so damn badass, this page does not do him justice.
Matt Ward wishes his Ultramarines were half as badass as him.
Badasious once listened to Tzeentch for two hours, and Tzeentch's head exploded.
Badasious was about to lose a game of rock paper scissors to a daemon prince but pulled of Exterminatus with his fingers and literally mind fucked the daemon prince.
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MensajeTema: Re: Capitan Fuckerus Rageis   Lun Mar 05, 2012 7:57 pm


Pinto a mis angry marines viendo esta imagen
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